Sorting things out...

Have you ever noticed how everyone has a different way of sorting things out?

I wring my hands -- actively and figuratively. When something is bothering me, people around me know it. I talk about it, in circles; I yell about it; I belabor it. To death. Just when you thought I was over it, I bring it up again, just a few more times.

My mom makes lists. Before trips or big events, there are lists taped everywhere: on the bathroom mirror, on the front door, on the refrigerator, on the carefully stacked boxes or bags by the door (what goes to who and by when). Sometimes the list is just a single item ("shoes!"), sometimes it's several pages long.

Sam has an overwhelming need to be outside when he's troubled by something. On his busiest days -- full of homework, tests, or back-to-back events -- Sam always takes time to go outside first and shoot some hoops, throw a baseball, or just run down the street. Somehow he's able to come inside and knuckle down after that...usually.

I've noticed my Book Club Ladies can sort through an amazing array of things just by walking. We head off in a group, spaces naturally developing between us as we drift into groups of two or three. We continue a conversation, check on issues in our lives, share stories. Listening, nodding, offering suggestions, we get it done. By the time we're back, we feel good -- we're part of a tribe, we support one another.

Andrew's pattern of sorting is so predictable as to be comforting (to those of us not doing the worrying, anyway). “Mom?” it always starts... ”Here’s the thing...” and then usually, "Well...hm." Not two minutes later, the piano keys start banging, the feet start stomping and the real sorting-out process begins. The noise is loud and jarring, discordant and jangly. Soon, though, a rythym appears, notes flow together and form...music. Just as I start to relax and enjoy what he’s creating, he stops, stands up, and walks away. The process is complete, he's sorted it out.